The Idiot

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Ti­tle: The Id­iot

Au­thor: John Kendrick Bangs

Re­lease Date: Ju­ly 20, 2006 [eBook #18881]

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THE ID­IOT

by

JOHN KENDRICK BANGS

Au­thor of “Cof­fee and Repar­tee” “The Wa­ter Ghost, and Oth­ers” “Three Weeks in Pol­itics” Etc.

Il­lus­trat­ed

New York Harp­er & Broth­ers Pub­lish­ers 1895 Copy­right, 1895, by Harp­er & Broth­ers. All rights re­served.

TO WILLIAM K. OTIS

IL­LUS­TRA­TIONS

“CER­TAIN­LY. I ASKED FOR AN­OTH­ER CUP”

“THE NUI­SANCE OF HAV­ING TO PAY”

“SHE COULD NOT POS­SI­BLY GET ABOARD AGAIN”

“DE­MANDS TICK­ETS FOR TWO”

“THEY ARE GIV­EN TO RE­HEARS­ING AT ALL HOURS”

“'HA! HA! I HAVE HIM NOW!'”

“HAS YOUR FRIEND COM­PLET­ED HIS AR­TI­CLE ON OLD JOKES?”

THEY DE­PART­ED

“YOU FISH ALL DAY, AND HAVE NO LUCK”

HE COULD BE HEARD THROW­ING THINGS ABOUT

“HE WAS NOT MUR­DERED”

“SU­PER­IN­TEN­DENT SMITHERS HAS NOT AB­SCOND­ED”

THE IN­SPIRED BOARD­ER PAID HIS BILL

“I KNOW YOU CAN'T, BE­CAUSE IT ISN'T THERE”

“YOU CAN MAKE YOUR­SELF HEARD IN SAN FRAN­CIS­CO”

THE PROPHETO­GRAPH

“I GRASPED IT IN MY TWO HANDS”

“PI­ANO-​PLAY­ING ISN'T AL­WAYS MU­SIC”

“THE MOON IT­SELF WILL BE USED”

“DE­CLINES TO BE RID­DEN”

“THE BIB­LIO­MA­NI­AC WOULD BE RAIS­ING BULBS”

“DIDN'T KNOW ENOUGH TO CHOOSE HIS OWN FACE”

“JAN­ITORS HAVE TO BE SEEN TO”

“MY ELO­QUENCE FLOAT­ED UP THE AIR-​SHAFT”

THE ID­IOT