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Told in a French Garden August, 1914 by Aldrich, Mildred - V

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Told in a French Garden August, 1914

V

THE SCULP­TOR'S STO­RY

UN­TO THIS END

THE TALE OF A VIR­GIN

It was on Au­gust 26th that we were first sure that the Al­lied forces and the Ger­man army had ac­tu­al­ly come in con­tact. It seemed im­pos­si­ble for us to re­al­ize it, but, in the af­ter­noon the Doc­tor, the Lawyer, and the Young­ster took one of the cars, and made a run to the north­east. The news they brought back did not at all co­in­cide with the hope­ful tone of the morn­ing pa­pers. In fact it was not on­ly ev­ident that the fall of Na­mur had been fol­lowed al­most im­me­di­ate­ly by that of Mons and Charleroi, but that the Ger­man hordes were well over the French fron­tier, and ad­vanc­ing rapid­ly, and the Al­lied armies sim­ply fly­ing be­fore them.

The odd part was, that though the Young­ster said that they had on­ly run out fifty miles, they had heard the guns, and “the Doc­tor thinks,” he added, un­der his breath, “that we may be able to stick it out to the last day of the month. Any­way, I ad­vise you girls to look over your kits. We may fly in a hur­ry--such of us as must fly.”

How­ev­er, we man­aged to get through din­ner quite gai­ly. We sim­ply could not re­al­ize the men­ace, and the Doc­tor ev­ident­ly meant that we should not. He was in gay­er spir­its than he had been since the days of the great dis­cus­sions, and af­ter the few facts he had brought back were giv­en us, he kept the talk on oth­er mat­ters, un­til the Sculp­tor, who had been ly­ing back in his chair, blow­ing smoke rings in the air, stretched him­self in­to his most grace­ful po­si­tion, and called at­ten­tion even to his pose, be­fore he threw his cigarette far from him with a fine ges­ture, set­tled his hand­some head in­to his clasped hands, and be­gan:

* * * * *

I had been ten years abroad.

In all that time I had been idle, pros­per­ous, and wretched.

Ev­ery time Fate wrenched my heart with one of her long thin piti­less hands, she rec­om­pensed me with what the world calls “good luck.” Ev­ery hope I had cher­ished failed me. Ev­ery faith I had har­bored de­sert­ed me. Ev­ery ven­ture in which nei­ther heart nor soul was con­cerned flour­ished and flaunt­ed its suc­cess in the face of the world, where I was con­sid­ered a very for­tu­nate man.

In the ten years of my ex­ile I had trav­elled much, had been in con­tact with all kinds of peo­ple, had served some, and tried in vain to be con­cerned for them while I served. If it had been my fate to make no friends, it was with­in my choice to be nev­er alone.

I had that in my mem­ory which I hoard­ed, and yet with which I would not al­low my­self to be de­lib­er­ate­ly alone. The most ter­ri­ble hours of my life were those when, to­ward morn­ing, the rest of the world--all the world save me--hav­ing no past to es­cape, no en­tic­ing phan­tom to flee, went peace­ful­ly off to bed, and I was left alone in the night to drug mem­ory, fight off thought, out­wit imag­ina­tion by any means that I might--and some of them were des­per­ate enough.

Ten years had passed thus.

An­oth­er tenth of Au­gust had come round!

On­ly a man who has but one an­niver­sary in his life, the back­ward and for­ward shad­ows of which make an un­bro­ken cir­cle over the whole year, can ap­pre­ci­ate my ex­is­tence. One can­not es­cape such a date. You may nev­er speak of it. You may for­swear cal­en­dars, ab­jure news­pa­pers, refuse to date a let­ter; you may even lose days in a drunk­en stu­por. Still there is that in your heart and your brain which keeps the reck­on­ing. The hour will strike, in spite of you, when the day comes round on the di­al of the year.

I had been liv­ing for some time in a city far dis­tant from my na­tive land. Half the world stretched on ei­ther side be­tween me and the spot I tried to for­get, and which float­ed for­ev­er, like a vi­sion, be­tween me and re­al­ity.

I had re­mained longer than usu­al in this city, for the sim­ple rea­son that it was the hot sea­son, and while the na­tives could stand it by day, vis­itors, un­used to the heat, were forced to sleep by day and wan­der abroad by night, a con­di­tion that made it pos­si­ble for me to feel my fel­low­men about me near­ly the en­tire twen­ty-​four hours.

It was night.

I was sit­ting alone on the bal­cony of my room, look­ing down on to the crowd­ed bridges of the city where throngs were pass­ing, and filled my eyes and mind.

It was the very hour at which I had last seen her. There was no clock in sight--I al­ways guard­ed against that in se­lect­ing my room. I had long ceased to car­ry a watch.

Yet I knew the hour.

I had been sit­ting there for hours watch­ing the crowd. I had not been drink­ing. I had long ago aban­doned that. No stim­ulant could blur the fixed re­gret, no nar­cot­ic numb my full sense of it. Sleep, whether I rose to it, or fell to it--on­ly brought me dreams of her. Des­per­ate nour­ish­ing of a great mis­ery, in a na­ture that re­sent­ed it, even while cher­ish­ing it, had made me a con­scious mono­ma­ni­ac. Fate had thwart­ed me, and dis­tort­ed me. I had be­come jeal­ous and mor­bid, bit­ter­ly re­vil­ing my hurt, but vi­olent­ly pre­vent­ing its heal­ing.

There was a moon--just as there had been that night, on­ly now it fell on a many bridged riv­er across which were ghost­ly cy­press trees, ris­ing along the hill­side to a strange­ly out­lined church be­hind ru­ined for­ti­fi­ca­tions. I was won­der­ing, against my will, at what hour that moon rose over the dis­tant New Eng­land vil­lage, which came be­fore me in a vi­sion that wiped out the wood­ed heights of re­al­ity.

Sud­den­ly all the pain dropped away from me.

I drew a long breath in amaze­ment.

Where was the weight un­der which I had stag­gered, men­tal­ly, all these years? Whence came the peace that had so sud­den­ly de­scend­ed up­on me? In an in­stant it had passed, and I could on­ly re­mem­ber my bit­ter mood of ten years as if it had been a dream that I had lived so long un­con­soled by that great heal­er, Time.

As the tor­tur­ing jeal­ousy dropped from me, a gen­tle sad­ness took its place. In an in­stant my mind was made up. I would go back.

This idea, which had nev­er come to me in ten years, seemed now per­fect­ly nat­ural. I would re­turn at once to that far off vil­lage where, for a brief hour, I had dwelt in a “Fool's Par­adise,” through which my way had lain but a brief span, and where I had passed, like the fa­bled bird, that “floats through Heav­en, but can­not light.”

* * * * *

I re­mem­ber but lit­tle of the jour­ney home, save that it was long, and that I slept much. But whether it was months or years I nev­er knew. I seemed to be mak­ing up what I had lost in ten years. Time oc­cu­pied it­self in restor­ing the bal­ance I had tak­en so much pains to up­set.

It was night when I reached the place at last.

I found it as I had left it. Had a mag­ic sleep set­tled there it could not have been less changed.

I was rec­og­nized in the small bare of­fice of the one tav­ern. I felt that my sud­den ap­pear­ance sur­prised no one. But I did not won­der why.

Odd­ly enough, I nev­er asked a ques­tion. I had not even ques­tioned my­self as to what I ex­pect­ed to find. Years af­ter­ward I was con­vinced, in re­view­ing the mat­ter, that my soul had known from the first.

I dined alone, quite calm­ly, af­ter which I stepped out in­to the starlight. I turned up the hill, and struck in­to the fa­mil­iar road I had so of­ten trav­elled in the old days. It led to­ward the riv­er, and along the steep bank of the rapid noisy stream. The chill wind of an ear­ly au­tumn night moaned sad­ly in the tall trees, and the dead leaves un­der my feet rus­tled a sad ac­com­pa­ni­ment to my thoughts, which at last, un­hood­ed, flew back to the past.

Be­low rushed the riv­er, whose tor­rent had ev­er been an ac­com­pa­ni­ment to all my rec­ol­lec­tions of her--as in­sep­ara­ble from them as the col­or of her eyes, or the tones of her voice.

I could not but con­trast my present calm with the mad hu­mor in which I had last rushed down the slope I was so qui­et­ly climb­ing. As I went for­ward, I be­gan to ask my­self, “Why?” I could not an­swer that, but I be­gan to hur­ry.

Sud­den­ly I stopped.

The moon had emerged above the trees on the op­po­site side of the riv­er. It struck and il­lu­mined some­thing white above me. I was stand­ing ex­act­ly where I had stood on that fa­tal tenth of Au­gust, so many years be­fore.

I came to my sens­es as if by an elec­tric shock.

At last ev­ery­thing was clear to me. At last I un­der­stood whence had gone all my van­ity and jeal­ousy. At last I un­der­stood the spell of peace that had set­tled on me in that moon­lit tenth of Au­gust, in that far off city.

My bur­den had passed through the Val­ley of the Shad­ow of Death with her--for I was stand­ing at the door of her tomb!

I did not ques­tion. I knew, I com­pre­hend­ed.

In no oth­er way could I have found such calm.

Though I flung my­self on the shin­ing mar­ble steps that led in the moon­light up to the top of the knoll where the tomb stood, I had no tears to shed.

The present float­ed still fur­ther away.

Even the rush of the tor­rent died out of my ears.

Once more it seemed to me that love­ly day in May when we three had marched, shoul­der to shoul­der, down the city street--that spring day in the ear­ly six­ties, when the North was send­ing her flow­er to fight for a unit­ed coun­try.

Again I felt the warm sun­shine on my head.

Once more I heard the ring­ing cheers, saw the float­ing flags, and the faces of wom­en who wept as well as wom­en who smiled in the throngs that lined the street.

Just as in all my life it had been his emo­tions and his en­thu­si­asms that led me, it was his ex­cite­ment that im­pelled me for­ward at this mo­ment. His was the hand that in my school days, at col­lege, in our Bo­hemi­an days abroad, had swept my re­spon­sive na­ture as a mas­ter hand strikes a harp, and made har­monies or dis­cords at his will--or, I should say, ac­cord­ing to his mood.

I used to think in those days that he nev­er will­ful­ly wronged any one, but I had to own al­so that he nev­er de­lib­er­ate­ly sac­ri­ficed him­self for any one. And, if I were the vic­tim of his tem­per­ament, he was no less so. But he was an artist. I was not. All things ei­ther good or bad were mere­ly ma­te­ri­al to him. With me it was dif­fer­ent.

He and I were alone in the world. But be­side us marched, that May morn­ing, with the glo­ry of youth on his hand­some but weak face, one whose “bap­tism of fire” was to make him a hero, who had else been re­mem­bered a cow­ard.

The sto­ry of the girl he had wronged, and fear of whom had even rec­on­ciled his fam­ily to his en­list­ing, was com­mon prop­er­ty, and had been for sev­er­al sea­sons. There was a child, too, a lit­tle daugh­ter, fond­ly loved, but un­ac­knowl­edged, the fame of whose child­ish beau­ty many a heed­less voice had al­ready sung.

He, poor young­ster, looked on his all that morn­ing.

Once more I saw the flag draped house where his moth­er waved a brave farewell to him.

But there was an­oth­er lat­er pic­ture in my mind. Again I heard the blare of the band be­fore us as it flung its satire of “The Girl I Left Be­hind Me,” in­to the spring air. I saw once more in my mind the child, with her float­ing red gold curls, raised above the crowd on the shoul­ders of tall men. Her eyes were too young for tears--and for that mat­ter, tears came to her but sel­dom in lat­er years--and the lips that shout­ed “bood-​bye” smiled, un­con­scious of brav­ery, as she swung her hat with its sym­bol­ic col­ors above her shin­ing head.

That was the pic­ture that three of us car­ried to the front.

We left him--all his er­rors re­deemed by a no­ble death--with his face turned up to the stars, as silent, as mys­te­ri­ous as they, af­ter our first bat­tle.

From the hor­rors of that night we two came away bound by an oath to care for that child.

* * * * *

Again my mem­ory shift­ed to the days that found her a wom­an. Fair, beau­ti­ful, dain­ty, her fa­ther's daugh­ter in looks, but in­her­it­ing from a rare moth­er a pe­cu­liar strength of char­ac­ter, a moral force rarely found with such a tem­per­ament and such beau­ty.

We had aid­ed to raise her as be­came the child of her fa­ther, whose sto­ry she knew as soon as she was able to un­der­stand, but she knew it from the lips of the brave moth­er, who cher­ished his mem­ory. Un­til she was a wom­an grown it was I, how­ev­er, who, of her two self-​ap­point­ed guardians, had watched over her. Chil­dren did not in­ter­est him.

He had mar­ried some years be­fore that time, mar­ried well with an eye to a calm com­fort­able fu­ture, as be­came an artist who could not be ham­pered by the need of mon­ey.

In­deed, it was not un­til he knew that I was to mar­ry her that he re­al­ly looked at her.

And I, with all my ex­pe­ri­ence of him, sim­ply be­cause I was nev­er able to un­der­stand the du­al na­ture, failed at that fa­tal hour when we stood to­geth­er be­side our pro­tegee to ap­ply to the sit­ua­tion the knowl­edge that years of ex­pe­ri­ence should have taught me.

I was so bound up in my own feel­ings that I failed to re­mem­ber that, un­til then, I had nev­er had a great emo­tion that his na­ture had not act­ed as a lens in the kin­dling.

Then, too, there was a dense sense of the con­ven­tion­al--a log­ical enough birthright--in my make-​up. I, who had known him so long, so well, seemed, nev­er­the­less, when he mar­ried, to have fan­cied there was some ho­cus-​pocus in the cer­emo­ny, which should make a def­inite change in a man's char­ac­ter, as well as a pre­sum­able change in his way of life.

It must have been that there, in the open, at the foot of the knoll, I slept, as one does the first night af­ter a long await­ed death, when the re­lief that pain is passed, and sus­pense end­ed, dead­ens grief. She was no longer in this world of tor­ture. That helped me.

* * * * *

The next I knew, it was the sun, and not the moon which was shin­ing on me.

The wind had stilled its sob­bing in the trees.

On­ly the rush­ing of the riv­er sound­ed in my ears.

I rose slow­ly, and mount­ed the steps.

A tiny white mar­ble mosque of won­der­ful beau­ty--for he who erect­ed it was one of the world's great artists, whose works will live to glo­ri­fy his name and his art when all his fol­lies shall have been for­got­ten--stood in a court paved with mar­ble.

It was en­cir­cled with a low cop­ing of the whitest of stone. Over this low wall vines were al­ready grow­ing, and the wood­bine that was min­gled with it was stained with those glo­ri­ous tints in which Na­ture says to life, “Even death is beau­ti­ful.”

The wide bronze doors on ei­ther side were open.

I ac­cept­ed the fact with­out even won­der­ing why--or ask­ing my­self who, in open­ing them, had dis­cov­ered my pres­ence!

I en­tered.

For a brief time I stood once more with­in the room where she lay.

An aw­ful peace fell on my soul, as if her soul had whis­pered in the words we had so of­ten read to­geth­er:

“I lie so com­pos­ed­ly Now in my bed--”

I knew at last, as I gazed, that all her life, and all mine, as well, had been to his prof­it. That out of this, too, he had wrought some of his great­ness.

The in­te­ri­or of the vault was of red mar­ble, and, such of chis­elling as there was done, seemed won­der­ful to me even in my frame of mind. I took it all in, through un­will­ing, though fas­ci­nat­ed eyes.

I have nev­er seen it since. I can nev­er for­get it.

Yet art is, and al­ways has been, so much to me, that I could not help, even in my strange­ly wrought-​up men­tal con­di­tion, com­pre­hend­ing and ad­mir­ing his scheme and the mas­ter­ly man­ner in which he had worked it out.

At my feet, as I stood on the thresh­old, was an elab­orate scroll en­graved on the stone and sur­round­ed with a wreath of leaves, that vied with the tombs of the old world. As I gazed at it, and read the goth­ic let­ters in which it was set forth that this mon­ument was erect­ed in ado­ra­tion of this wom­an, how well I re­mem­bered the day when we had crouched to­geth­er over those stones in the crypt at Cer­tosa, to ad­mire the chis­elling of Do­natel­lo which had in­spired this.

There was a space left for the sig­na­ture of the artist, which would, I knew, some day be writ­ten there bold­ly enough!

In the cen­tre stood the sar­coph­agus.

I felt its pres­ence, though my eyes avoid­ed it.

Above, on the wall, were the words borne along by carved an­gels:

“My love she sleeps: Oh, may her sleep As it was last­ing, so be deep.”

And I seemed to hear her voice in­tone the words as I had heard them from her lips so many times.

And then my eyes fell--on her! Aye! On her, stretched at full length in her warm and glo­ri­ous tomb. For above her mor­tal re­mains slept her ef­fi­gy wrought with all the skill of a great art.

I had feared to look up­on it, but hav­ing looked, I felt that I could nev­er tear my­self away from its peace and love­li­ness.

The long folds of the drap­ery fell straight from the small, round throat to the tiny un­shod feet, and so won­der­ful­ly was it wrought, that it seemed as if the liv­ing beau­ti­ful flesh of the slen­der body was still quick be­neath it. The exquisite hands that I knew so well--so del­icate, and yet so strong--were gen­tly crossed up­on her breast, and her arms held a long stemmed lily, em­blem of pu­ri­ty, and it looked to me there like a mar­tyr's palm.

Per­haps it was the pale re­flec­tion from the red walls, but the fig­ure seemed too re­al to be mere stone!

I for­got the irony of the fact that I was mere­ly see­ing her through his eyes--the eyes of the man who had robbed me. I felt on­ly her pres­ence. I fell on my knees. I flung my arms across the beau­ti­ful form--no cold­er to my em­brace than had been the liv­ing wom­an! As I re­coiled from the death-​like touch, my eyes fell on the words carved on the face of the sar­coph­agus, and once more, it was like the voice that was hushed in my ears.

“I pray to God that she may lie For­ev­er with un­opened eye While the dim sheet­ed ghosts go by.”

“Amen,” I said, with all my heart, to the words he had carved above her, for what, af­ter the fever of such a life, could be so wel­come to her as dream­less, eter­nal si­lence, in which there would be no more pas­sion, no more strug­gling, no more love?

And, if I wished with all my soul, that the great sur­prise of death might, for her, have been peace and si­lence, did I not bar my­self as well as him from the hope of Heav­en?

How long I stood there, with hun­gry eyes de­vour­ing the mar­ble ef­fi­gy of her I so loved--now tor­tured by its fi­deli­ty, now pun­ished by its cold­ness--I nev­er knew.

Some­times I no­ticed the chang­ing of the light, the shift­ing of the shad­ows, as the sun swung steadi­ly up­ward, but it was a sub­con­scious ob­ser­va­tion which did not re­call me to my­self and the present.

Back, back turned my thoughts to the past.

Here, where she now lay in her gor­geous tomb, had then stood an ar­bor, and be­low had roared the rush­ing riv­er.

It was the night of our wed­ding.

Then, as now, on this very spot, I had looked down on that fair pale face, and then it had giv­en me back a gaze as life­less as this.

I had missed my bride from the lit­tle throng in the quaint house be­yond. I had stolen out to seek her. In­stinc­tive­ly I had turned to the old ar­bor above the riv­er, where her hours of med­ita­tion had al­ways been passed.

It was there I had found her as a child, when I came to bring her fa­ther's dy­ing mes­sage. It was there I had asked her to be­come my wife. It was there we three had first stood to­geth­er.

For a week be­fore the wed­ding she had been in a strange mood, tear­less, but ner­vous, and sad! Still, it had not seemed to me an un­nat­ural mood in such a wom­an, on the eve of her mar­riage.

Fate is iron­ical.

I re­mem­bered that I was serene­ly hap­py as I sped up the hill in search of her, and so sure that I knew where to find her. Light scud­ding clouds crossed the track of the moon, which, with a broad­ly smil­ing face, rolled up the heav­ens at a spin­ning pace, now ap­pear­ing, now dis­ap­pear­ing be­hind the fly­ing clouds.

I was hum­ming gai­ly as I strode along the nar­row path. Noth­ing tugged at my heart strings to warn me of ap­proach­ing sor­row. There was no sig­nal in all na­ture to pre­pare me for the end in a com­plete ship­wreck of all my dreams. The peace about me gave no hint of its cyn­icism. Noth­ing, ei­ther with­in or with­out, hint­ed that my hours of hap­pi­ness and con­tent were run­ning out rapid­ly to the last sand!

I had reached the shal­low steps that led up the knoll to the ar­bor!

At that mo­ment the clouds were swept off from the face of the moon, and the white light fell full on her.

But she was not alone. She rest­ed in the arms of my friend, as, God help me, she had nev­er rest­ed in mine--in an aban­don that was on­ly too elo­quent.

What was said?

Who but God knows that now?

What do men like us, who have thought them­selves one in all things, un­til one love rends them asun­der, say at such a time? As for me, I can­not re­call a word!

I did not even see his face.

I think he saw mine no more.

We seemed to see in­to the soul of each oth­er, through the very heart of that frail wom­an be­tween us, that slen­der crea­ture in the bridal dress, who sank down be­fore us, as if the col­lid­ing pas­sions of two strong men had killed her.

It was he who raised her up. His hands placed her in my arms. No need to say that she was blame­less. I knew all that.

It was on­ly Fate af­ter all, that I blamed, yet the fa­tal­ist is hu­man. He suf­fers in liv­ing like oth­er men--some­times more, be­cause he re­fus­es to strug­gle in the clutch­es of Chance!

As I gazed down in­to her white face, I heard the steps of my friend, even above the roar­ing of the riv­er, as he strode down the hill­side, out of my life! And I know not even to-​day which was the bit­ter­est grief, the loss of my faith in be­ing loved, or the pass­ing from my heart of that man!

Of the pain of the night that fol­lowed, on­ly the si­lence and our own hearts knew.

Love and pas­sion are so twinned in some hours of life that one can­not dis­tin­guish in him­self the one from the oth­er.

In­to my keep­ing “to have and to hold,” the law had giv­en this beau­ti­ful wom­an, “un­til death should us part.” I loved her! But, out of her heart, at once stronger and weak­er than mine, my friend had barred me.

It is not in hours like these, that all men can be sane.

I thought of what might have been, if they had not met that night, and my ig­no­ble side craved ig­no­rance of that Chance, or the bru­tal­ity to ig­nore it.

I looked down in­to that cold face as I laid her from the arms that had borne her down the hill--laid her on what was to have been her nup­tial couch--and closed the door be­tween us and all the world.

We were to­geth­er--alone--at last!

I had dreamed of this hour. Here was its re­al­iza­tion. I watched the mis­ery of re­mem­brance dawn slow­ly on her white face. I pitied her as I gazed at her, yet my whole be­ing cried out in rage at its own pity. On her trem­bling lips I seemed to see his kiss­es. In her fright­ened eyes I saw his im­age. The shud­der that shook her whole body as her eyes held mine, con­fessed him--and that con­fes­sion kept me at bay.

All that night I sat be­side her.

What mad words I ut­tered a mer­ci­ful na­ture nev­er let me re­call.

In the chill dawn I fled from her pres­ence.

The width of the world had lain be­tween us, me--and this wom­an whom I had wor­shipped, of whom a con­sum­ing jeal­ousy had made ten years of my life a mad fever, which on­ly her death had cured. San­er men have protest­ed against the same sit­ua­tion that ru­ined me--and yet, even in my rea­son­ing mo­ments, like this, I knew that to have re­belled would have been to have forced a trag­ic cli­max be­fore the hour at which Fate had fixed it.

* * * * *

When some­thing--I know not what--re­called me again to the present, I found that I had sat by her a day, as, on our last meet­ing, I watched out the night. The sun, which had sent its al­most lev­el rays in at the east door of the tomb when I en­tered, was now shin­ing in bril­liant al­most lev­el rays in at the west.

The day was pass­ing.

A shad­ow fell from the op­po­site door. I be­came sud­den­ly con­scious of his pres­ence, and, once more, across her body, I looked in­to my friend's eyes.

Be­tween us, as on that dread­ful night, she was stretched!

But she was at peace.

Our col­lid­ing emo­tions might rend us, they could nev­er again tear at her gen­tle heart. That was at rest.

Over her we stood once more, as if years had not passed--years of si­lence.

Above the wom­an we had both loved, we two, who had stood shoul­der to shoul­der in bat­tle, been one in thought and am­bi­tion un­til pas­sion rent us asun­der, met as we part­ed, but she was at peace!

We had sev­ered with­out farewells.

We met with­out greet­ings.

We stood in si­lence un­til he waved me to a broad seat be­hind me, and sank in­to a sim­ilar niche op­po­site.

We sat in the shad­ow.

She lay be­tween us in the lev­el light of the set­ting sun, which fell across her from the wide por­tal, and once more our eyes met on her face, but they would not dis­turb her calm.

His in­flu­ence was once more up­on me.

In the si­lence--for it was some time be­fore he spoke, and I was dumb--my ac­cursed eye for de­tail had tak­en in the change in him. Yet I fan­cied I was not look­ing at him. I not­ed that he had aged--that this was one of the pe­ri­ods in him which I knew so well--when a pas­sion for work was on him, and the fever and fer­vor of cre­ation trained him down like a race-​horse, all spir­it and force. I not­ed that he still wore the vel­veteens and the broad hat and loose open col­lar of his stu­dent days.

Sit­ting on ei­ther side of the tomb he had built to en­shrine her, on carved mar­ble seats such as Tus­can po­ets sat on, in the old days, to sing to fair wom­en, with our gaze fo­cussed on the long white form be­tween us--ah, be­tween us in­deed!--his voice broke the long si­lence.

He leaned for­ward, his el­bows on his knees, and the broad brim of his soft hat swept the mar­ble floor with a gen­tle rhyth­mic swish, as it swung idly from his loos­ened grasp. I heard it as an ac­com­pa­ni­ment to his voice.

His eyes nev­er once strayed from her face.

“You think you are to be pitied,” he said. "You are wrong! No one who has not sinned against an­oth­er needs pity. I meant you no harm. Fate--my tem­per­ament, your im­mo­bil­ity, the very gifts that have made me what I am were to blame--if blame there were. Ev­ery one of us must live out his life, ac­cord­ing to his na­ture. I, as well as you!

"When, on this very spot where we last part­ed, you told me that you loved her, I swear to you, if need be, that I re­joiced. I was glad that she would have you to make the fu­ture smooth for her. Lat­er I grew to en­vy you. It was for your safe­ty, as well as mine and hers, that I de­cid­ed to see nei­ther of you again un­til she had been some time your wife. No word of love, no con­fi­dence of any kind, had ev­er passed be­tween us. When I wrote you that I should not be here to see you mar­ried, and when not even your re­proach­es could move me, I had al­ready en­gaged my pas­sage on a sail­ing ship bound for the Azores. I had planned to put a long un­cer­tain voy­age be­tween you and any pos­si­bil­ity that I might mar your chances for hap­pi­ness, for the near­er the day came, the more--in spite of my­self--I re­sent­ed it!

"My good in­ten­tions were thwart­ed by--Fate.

"For some rea­son, for­got­ten and unim­por­tant, the Cap­tain de­ferred lift­ing an­chor for a whole week. I called my­self un­pret­ty names for think­ing that I could not even see her with­out dan­ger. I de­spised my­self for the judg­ment that ac­cused me of be­ing such a scamp as to think I would do any­thing to rob her of the pro­tec­tion and safe­ty you could give her, and I could not, and an ego­ist for be­ing pos­sessed with the idea that I could if I would.

"Sud­den­ly I felt quite sure of my­self.

"Yet I had meant to see her with­out be­ing seen, when I hur­ried so un­ex­pect­ed­ly down here on your wed­ding night. I fan­cied I on­ly longed to see what a love­ly bride she would make--she who as a child, a girl, a maid­en, had been in your eyes the most exquisite crea­ture you had ev­er known; she whom I had avoid­ed for years, be­cause I, of all men, could least af­ford to take a place in her life! I longed to see those eyes, still so pure, un­der her bridal veil.

"I came in se­cret! I saw her--and all pru­dence fled out of me, leav­ing but one in­stinct.

"Was it my fault that, alone, she fled from the house? That, with her veil thrown over her arm, she ran di­rect­ly by me, like a sprite in the moon­light, to this spot?

"The rest you know.

"It is not you who need pity!

"You have the pain of an im­per­ish­able loy­al­ty in your soul. It is like a glo­ry in your face, in spite of all you have suf­fered. As I look at you, it seems but yes­ter­day that all was well be­tween us.

"I lost much in los­ing you.

"Nor am I sure that you were right to go! But that was for your own na­ture to de­cide. In your place I should have fought Fate, I ex­pect­ed you to do it.

"I loved her first, be­cause she sat­is­fied my eyes. I loved her the more that she was de­nied to me! Yet I knew al­ways that this love was not in me what it was in you. With me it was, like many oth­er emo­tions of a sim­ilar sort--a sen­ti­ment that would pass. I tried to think oth­er­wise. But I had awak­ened her heart, and you, to whom the law had giv­en her, were gone!

"I wait­ed long for your re­turn, or for some sign.

"You nei­ther came nor spoke.

"I ar­gued that some­thing must be done. I owed it to her to of­fer her my pro­tec­tion.

"I came back here. I met her on this very spot. I said to her, 'You are alone in the world--your moth­er has mar­ried--she has oth­er chil­dren. I have sad­dened your life with my love. Let me at least help to cheer it again. You need af­fec­tion. Here it is--in my arms!'

"And, while I wait­ed for her an­swer, I prayed with all my soul that she might de­ny me.

"God bless her! She did! I turned away from her with a glad heart, and in that heart I en­shrined this wom­an, who, lov­ing me, had de­nied me. There I set up her im­age, pure and in­vi­olate. Two long years I stayed away from her, and as I worked, I wor­shipped her, and out of that wor­ship I wrought a great thing.

"With time, how­ev­er, her re­al im­age grew faint with­in me. Oth­er emo­tions, oth­er ex­pe­ri­ences seemed to blur and dim it. In spite of my­self, I re­turned here. Once more I stood on this spot, with­in the gaze of her deep eyes. I be­gan to be­lieve that a love ev­er­last­ing, all en­dur­ing, had been giv­en me! But still it was pas­sion that plead­ed for pos­ses­sion, and still it was self-​knowl­edge that looked on in fear.

"Pas­sion bade me plead: 'You love me! You need me! Come to me!' And fear kept my heart still, in dread of her con­sent.

"But she looked up in­to my face with eyes that seemed to widen un­der mine, and sim­ply whis­pered, 'My moth­er.' The heart that knew and un­der­stood now all that sad his­to­ry seemed to feel that her act might re-​open the moth­er's old wound; that the ver­dict 'like moth­er, like daugh­ter' would turn virtue back to sin again.

"Once more I went out in­to the world with a light heart! Her virtue, her strength, seemed to be mine. I went back to my work with re­newed spir­it, back to my life with no new self-​re­proach.

"But once more I swung round the cir­cle. With a per­ver­si­ty that, dread­ing suc­cess, and con­scious of fear, yet longs to strive for what it dreads to win, I re­turned to her again. The death of her moth­er was my new ex­cuse.

"She came to me--here, as usu­al. But this time she came lead­ing by the hand her lit­tle sis­ter, and I felt her ar­mored against me even be­fore I spoke.

"You, who used to be­lieve in a mer­ci­ful God, can you ex­plain to me why he has left in the na­ture of man, cre­at­ed--so you be­lieve--in His own im­age--that im­pulse to de­stroy that which he loves? I loved her for ex­act­ly what she was. I loved her be­cause she had the courage to re­sist me. Yet from each de­nial so ar­dent­ly de­sired, so thank­ful­ly re­ceived, my soul sprang up strength­ened in de­sire. Safe above me I wor­shipped her. Once in my arms, I knew, on­ly too well, that even that love would pass as all oth­er emo­tions had done. I knew I should put her aside, gen­tly if I could, ur­gent­ly, if I must, and pass on. That is my Fate! Ev­ery­thing that en­ters my life leaves some­thing I need--and de­parts! For what I have not, I hunger. What I win soon wea­ries me. It is the price life ex­acts for what it gives me.

"So, when Au­gust of this year came round, I found my­self once more stand­ing here.

"Ten years had passed since we stood here with her be­tween us--ten years that had laid their rich­est gifts on her beau­ty. This time she was in­deed alone. As I looked in­to her face, I some­how thought of Agamem­non's fair daugh­ter doomed to die a vir­gin. You can see my 'Iphi­ge­nia' in the spring, if you chance to be in Paris.

"This time, self-​knowl­edge de­sert­ed me. The past was for­got­ten. The fu­ture was un­dread­ed. The pas­sion in my heart spoke with­out re­serve or cau­tion! I no longer said: 'You need me! You love me!' I cried out: 'I can no longer live with­out you!' I no longer said, 'Come to me!' I plead­ed, 'Take me to your heart. There, where my im­age is, let me rest at last. I have wait­ed long, be kind to me.'

"I saw her sway to­ward me as once be­fore she had done. It was too late to look back­ward or for­ward. I had con­quered. In my weak­ness I be­lieved it was thus or­dained--that I de­served some cred­it for wait­ing so long.

"Yet, when she left me here alone, hav­ing promised, with down­cast eyes that avoid­ed mine, to place her hand in mine, and walk bold­ly be­side me down the for­bid­den path of the world, I fell down on the spot her feet had pressed, and wept bit­ter­ly, as I had nev­er done be­fore in all my life. Wept over the shat­tered ide­al, the faith I had so wil­ful­ly torn down, the mis­er­able vic­to­ry of my mean­est self.

"I thought the end was come. Fate was mer­ci­ful to me, how­ev­er!

"I had my­self fixed the fol­low­ing Thurs­day as the day for our de­par­ture. As I dat­ed a let­ter to her that night my mind in­vol­un­tar­ily reck­oned the days, and I was star­tled to find that Thurs­day fell on that fa­tal tenth of Au­gust.

"I had not thought I could be so tor­tured in my mind as I was by the dread that she should no­tice the dire co­in­ci­dence.

"She did!

"The hour that should have brought her to me, brought a note in­stead. It was dat­ed bold­ly 'Au­gust tenth.' It was with­out be­gin­ning or sig­na­ture. It said--I can re­peat ev­ery word--'Of the two roads to self-​de­struc­tion open to me, I have cho­sen the one that will, in the end, give the least pain to you. I love you. I have al­ways loved you since I was a child. I do not re­gret any­thing yet! Thank God for me that I de­part with­out ev­er hav­ing seen a look of weari­ness in the eyes that gazed so lov­ing­ly in­to mine when we part­ed, and thank Him for your­self that you will nev­er see a look of re­proach in mine. I know no time so fit­ting to say a long farewell for both of us as this--Farewell, then.'

"I knew what I should find when I went up the hill.

"The doc­tors said 'heart dis­ease.' She had been trou­bled with some such weak­ness. I alone knew the truth! As I had known my­self, she had known me!

"You think you suf­fer--you, who might, but for me, have made her hap­py, as such wom­en should be, in a world of sim­ple nat­ural joys! My friend, loss with­out guilt is pain--but it is not with­out the balm of vir­tu­ous com­pen­sa­tion. You have at least a right to grieve.

“But I! I am forced to know my­self. To feel my­self borne along in spite of my­self; and to re­al­ize that she who should have worn a crown of hap­py wom­an­hood, lies there a sac­ri­fice, to be be­wailed like Jepthah's one fair daugh­ter; and to sit here in full dread of the ebbing of even this great emo­tion, know­ing too well that it will pass out of my life when it shall have achieved its pur­pose, leav­ing on­ly as ev­idence _this_--an­oth­er great work, crys­tal­ized in­to im­mor­tal­ity in ev­er­last­ing stone. I know that I can­not long hold it here in my heart. The day will come--per­haps soon--when I shall stand out­side that door, and rec­og­nize this as my work, and be proud of it, with­out the pow­er to grieve, as I do now; when I shall ap­prove my own hand­iwork, and be un­able to mourn for her who was sac­ri­ficed to achieve it. What is your pain to mine?”

And I saw the hot tears drop from his eyes. I saw them fall on the mar­ble floor, and they wa­tered the very spot where his name was so soon to spring up in pride to con­fess his hand­iwork.

I looked on her calm face. I knew she did not re­gret her part! I rose, and, with­out a word, I passed out at the wide door, and, with­out look­ing back, I passed down the slope in the dusk, and left them to­geth­er--the wom­an I had loved, and the friend I had lost!

* * * * *

As his voice died away, he sat up­right quick­ly, threw a glance about the cir­cle, and, with an­oth­er fine ges­ture said: “_Et voila_!”

The Doc­tor was the on­ly one to re­al­ly laugh, though a broad grin ran round the cir­cle.

“Well,” re­marked the Doc­tor, who had been lean­ing against a tree, and in­dulging in shrugs and an oc­ca­sion­al groan, which had not even dis­con­cert­ed the sto­ry teller, “I sup­pose that is how that very great man, your gov­er­nor, did the trick. I can see him in ev­ery word.”

“That is all you know about it,” laughed the Sculp­tor. “That is not a bit how the gov­er­nor did it. That is how I should have done it, had I been the gov­er­nor, and had the old man's chances. I call that an ide­al thing to hap­pen to a man.”

“Not even found­ed on fact--which might have been some ex­cuse for telling it,” groaned the Crit­ic. “I'd love to write a re­view of that sto­ry. I'd pol­ish it off.”

“Of course you would,” sneered the Sculp­tor. “That's all a crit­ic is for--to pol­ish off the tales he can't write. I call that a nice ro­man­tic, ide­al tale for a sculp­tor to con­ceive, and as the Doc­tor said the oth­er night, it is a pos­si­ble sto­ry, since I con­ceived it, and what the mind of mor­tal can con­ceive, can hap­pen.”

“The trou­ble,” said the Jour­nal­ist, “with chaps like you, and the Crit­ic, is that your peo­ple are all frame­work. They're not a bit of flesh and blood.”

“I'd like to know,” said the Sculp­tor, throw­ing him­self back in his chair, “who has a right to de­cide that?”

“What I'd like to know,” said the Young­ster, “is, what did she do be­tween times? Of course he sculpt­ed, and earned slathers of mon­ey. But she--?”

“Oh, ouch--help!” cried the Sculp­tor. “Do I know?”

“Ex­act­ly!” an­swered the Crit­ic, “and that you don't sticks out in ev­ery line of your sto­ry.”

“Good­ness me, you might ask the same thing about Le­da, or He­len of Troy.”

“Ha! Ha!” laughed the Doc­tor. “But we know what they did!”

“A lot you do. It is be­cause they are old clas­sics, and you ac­cept them, where­as my sto­ry is quite new and orig­inal--and you were un­pre­pared for it, and so you can't ap­pre­ci­ate it. Any­way, it's my first-​born sto­ry, and I'll de­fend it with my life.”

On­ly a laugh replied to the chal­lenge, and the at­ti­tude of de­fense he struck, as he leaped to his feet, though the Jour­nal­ist said, un­der his breath, “It takes a carv­er in stone to think of a tale like that!”

“But think,” replied the Doc­tor, “how much trou­ble some wom­en would es­cape if they kept on say­ing A B C like that--for the A B C is usu­al­ly love­ly--and when it was time to X Y Z--of­ten ter­ri­ble, they just slipped out through the 'open door.'”

“On the oth­er hand, they _risk_ los­ing heaps of fun,” said the Jour­nal­ist.

“What I like about that sto­ry,” said the Lawyer, “is that it is so aris­to­crat­ic. Ev­ery one seems to have plen­ty of mon­ey. They all three do just what they like, have no du­ties but to an­alyze them­selves, and ev­ident­ly ev­ery­thing goes like clock­work. The hus­band en­joys be­ing mor­bid, and has the means to be glo­ri­ous­ly so. The sculp­tor likes to carve Edgar Al­lan Poe all over the place, and the fair la­dy is able to grat­ify the tastes of both men.”

“You can laugh as much as you please,” sighed the Sculp­tor, “I wish it had hap­pened to me.”

“Well,” said the Doc­tor, “you have the priv­ilege of go­ing to bed and dream­ing that it did.”

“Thank you,” an­swered the Sculp­tor. “That is just what I am go­ing to do.”

“What did I tell you last night?” said the Doc­tor, un­der his breath, as he watched the Sculp­tor go­ing slow­ly to­ward the house. “Bet he has been telling that tale to him­self un­der many skies for years!”

“I sup­pose,” laughed the Jour­nal­ist, “that the on­ly rea­son he has nev­er built the tomb is that he has nev­er had the mon­ey.”

“Oh, be fair!” said the Vi­olin­ist. “He has not built the tomb be­cause he is not his fa­ther. The old man would have done it in a minute, on­ly he lacked imag­ina­tion. You bet he nev­er day-​dreamed, and yet what skill he had, and what ad­ven­tures! He nev­er saw any­thing but the facts of life, yet how mag­nif­icent­ly he record­ed them.”

“It is a pity,” sighed the Vi­olin­ist, “that the son did not seek a dif­fer­ent ca­reer.”

“What dif­fer­ence does it make af­ter all?” re­marked the Doc­tor. “One nev­er knows when the next gen­er­ation will step up or down, and, af­ter all, what does it mat­ter?”

“It is all very well for you to talk,” said the Crit­ic.

“I as­sure you that the great pageant would have been just as in­ter­est­ing from any oth­er point of view. It has been a great spec­ta­cle,--this liv­ing. I'm glad I've seen it.”

“Amen to that,” said the Di­vorcee. “I on­ly hope I am go­ing to see it again--even though it hurts.”