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The Education of Henry Adams by Adams, Henry - CHAPTER V

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The Education of Henry Adams

CHAPTER V

BERLIN (1858-1859)

A FOURTH child has the strength of his weak­ness. Be­ing of no great val­ue, he may throw him­self away if he likes, and nev­er be missed. Charles Fran­cis Adams, the fa­ther, felt no love for Eu­rope, which, as he and all the world agreed, un­fit­ted Amer­icans for Amer­ica. A cap­tious crit­ic might have replied that all the suc­cess he or his fa­ther or his grand­fa­ther achieved was chiefly due to the field that Eu­rope gave them, and it was more than like­ly that with­out the help of Eu­rope they would have all re­mained lo­cal politi­cians or lawyers, like their neigh­bors, to the end. Strict­ly fol­lowed, the rule would have obliged them nev­er to quit Quin­cy; and, in fact, so much more timid are par­ents for their chil­dren than for them­selves, that Mr. and Mrs. Adams would have been con­tent to see their chil­dren re­main for­ev­er in Mount Ver­non Street, un­ex­posed to the temp­ta­tions of Eu­rope, could they have re­lied on the moral in­flu­ences of Boston it­self. Al­though the par­ents lit­tle knew what took place un­der their eyes, even the moth­ers saw enough to make them un­easy. Per­haps their dread of vice, haunt­ing past and present, wor­ried them less than their dread of daugh­ters-​in-​law or sons-​in-​law who might not fit in­to the some­what nar­row quar­ters of home. On all sides were risks. Ev­ery year some young per­son alarmed the parental heart even in Boston, and al­though the temp­ta­tions of Eu­rope were ir­re­sistible, re­moval from the temp­ta­tions of Boston might be im­per­ative. The boy Hen­ry want­ed to go to Eu­rope; he seemed well be­haved, when any one was look­ing at him; he ob­served con­ven­tions, when he could not es­cape them; he was nev­er quar­rel­some, to­wards a su­pe­ri­or; his morals were ap­par­ent­ly good, and his moral prin­ci­ples, if he had any, were not known to be bad. Above all, he was timid and showed a cer­tain sense of self-​re­spect, when in pub­lic view. What he was at heart, no one could say; least of all him­self; but he was prob­ably hu­man, and no worse than some oth­ers. There­fore, when he pre­sent­ed to an ex­ceed­ing­ly in­dul­gent fa­ther and moth­er his re­quest to be­gin at a Ger­man uni­ver­si­ty the study of the Civ­il Law — al­though nei­ther he nor they knew what the Civ­il Law was, or any rea­son for his study­ing it — the par­ents du­ti­ful­ly con­sent­ed, and walked with him down to the rail­way-​sta­tion at Quin­cy to bid him good-​bye, with a smile which he al­most thought a tear.

Whether the boy de­served such in­dul­gence, or was worth it, he knew no more than they, or than a pro­fes­sor at Har­vard Col­lege; but whether wor­thy or not, he be­gan his third or fourth at­tempt at ed­uca­tion in Novem­ber, 1858, by sail­ing on the steam­er Per­sia, the pride of Cap­tain Jud­kins and the Cu­nard Line; the newest, largest and fastest steamship afloat. He was not alone. Sev­er­al of his col­lege com­pan­ions sailed with him, and the world looked cheer­ful enough un­til, on the third day, the world — as far as con­cerned the young man — ran in­to a heavy storm. He learned then a les­son that stood by him bet­ter than any uni­ver­si­ty teach­ing ev­er did — the mean­ing of a Novem­ber gale on the mid-​At­lantic — which, for mere phys­ical mis­ery, passed en­durance. The sub­ject of­fered him ma­te­ri­al for none but se­ri­ous treat­ment; he could nev­er see the hu­mor of sea-​sick­ness; but it unit­ed it­self with a great va­ri­ety of oth­er im­pres­sions which made the first month of trav­el al­to­geth­er the rapi­dest school of ed­uca­tion he had yet found. The stride in knowl­edge seemed gi­gan­tic. One be­gan a to see that a great many im­pres­sions were need­ed to make very lit­tle ed­uca­tion, but how many could be crowd­ed in­to one day with­out mak­ing any ed­uca­tion at all, be­came the pons asi­no­rum of tourist math­emat­ics. How many would turn out to be wrong whether any could turn out right, was ul­ti­mate wis­dom.

The ocean, the Per­sia, Cap­tain Jud­kins, and Mr. G. P. R. James, the most dis­tin­guished pas­sen­ger, van­ished one Sun­day morn­ing in a fu­ri­ous gale in the Mersey, to make place for the drea­ri­er pic­ture of a Liv­er­pool street as seen from the Adel­phi cof­fee-​room in Novem­ber murk, fol­lowed in­stant­ly by the pas­sion­ate de­lights of Chester and the ro­mance of red-​sand­stone ar­chi­tec­ture. Mil­lions of Amer­icans have felt this suc­ces­sion of emo­tions. Pos­si­bly very young and in­gen­uous tourists feel them still, but in days be­fore tourists, when the ro­mance was a re­al­ity, not a pic­ture, they were over­whelm­ing. When the boys went out to Eaton Hall, they were awed, as Thack­er­ay or Dick­ens would have felt in the pres­ence of a Duke. The very name of Grosvenor struck a note of grandeur. The long suite of lofty, gild­ed rooms with their gild­ed fur­ni­ture; the por­traits; the ter­races; the gar­dens, the land­scape; the sense of su­pe­ri­or­ity in the Eng­land of the fifties, ac­tu­al­ly set the rich no­ble­man apart, above Amer­icans and shop­keep­ers. Aris­toc­ra­cy was re­al. So was the Eng­land of Dick­ens. Oliv­er Twist and Lit­tle Nell lurked in ev­ery church­yard shad­ow, not as shad­ow but alive. Even Charles the First was not very shad­owy, stand­ing on the tow­er to see his army de­feat­ed. Noth­ing there­abouts had very much changed since he lost his bat­tle and his head. An eigh­teenth-​cen­tu­ry Amer­ican boy fresh from Boston nat­ural­ly took it all for ed­uca­tion, and was amused at this sort of les­son. At least he thought he felt it.

Then came the jour­ney up to Lon­don through Birm­ing­ham and the Black Dis­trict, an­oth­er les­son, which need­ed much more to be right­ly felt. The plunge in­to dark­ness lurid with flames; the sense of un­known hor­ror in this weird gloom which then ex­ist­ed nowhere else, and nev­er had ex­ist­ed be­fore, ex­cept in vol­canic craters; the vi­olent con­trast be­tween this dense, smoky, im­pen­etra­ble dark­ness, and the soft green charm that one glid­ed in­to, as one emerged — the rev­ela­tion of an un­known so­ci­ety of the pit — made a boy un­com­fort­able, though he had no idea that Karl Marx was stand­ing there wait­ing for him, and that soon­er or lat­er the pro­cess of ed­uca­tion would have to deal with Karl Marx much more than with Pro­fes­sor Bowen of Har­vard Col­lege or his Sa­tan­ic free-​trade majesty John Stu­art Mill. The Black Dis­trict was a prac­ti­cal ed­uca­tion, but it was in­finite­ly far in the dis­tance. The boy ran away from it, as he ran away from ev­ery­thing he dis­liked.

Had he known enough to know where to be­gin he would have seen some­thing to study, more vi­tal than the Civ­il Law, in the long, mud­dy, dirty, sor­did, gas-​lit drea­ri­ness of Ox­ford Street as his dingy four-​wheel­er dragged its weary way to Char­ing Cross. He did no­tice one pe­cu­liar­ity about it worth re­mem­ber­ing. Lon­don was still Lon­don. A cer­tain style dig­ni­fied its grime; heavy, clum­sy, ar­ro­gant, purse-​proud, but not cheap; in­su­lar but large; bare­ly tol­er­ant of an out­side world, and ab­so­lute­ly self-​con­fi­dent. The boys in the streets made such free com­ments on the Amer­ican clothes and fig­ures, that the trav­ellers hur­ried to put on tall hats and long over­coats to es­cape crit­icism. No stranger had rights even in the Strand. The eigh­teenth cen­tu­ry held its own. His­to­ry mut­tered down Fleet Street, like Dr. John­son, in Adams’s ear; Van­ity Fair was alive on Pic­cadil­ly in yel­low char­iots with coach­men in wigs, on ham­mer-​cloths; foot­men with canes, on the foot­board, and a shriv­elled old wom­an in­side; half the great hous­es, black with Lon­don smoke, bore large fu­ne­re­al hatch­ments; ev­ery one seemed in­so­lent, and the most in­so­lent struc­tures in the world were the Roy­al Ex­change and the Bank of Eng­land. In Novem­ber, 1858, Lon­don was still vast, but it was the Lon­don of the eigh­teenth cen­tu­ry that an Amer­ican felt and hat­ed.

Ed­uca­tion went back­ward. Adams, still a boy, could not guess how in­tense­ly in­ti­mate this Lon­don grime was to be­come to him as a man, but he could still less con­ceive him­self re­turn­ing to it fifty years af­ter­wards, not­ing at each turn how the great city grew small­er as it dou­bled in size; cheap­er as it quadru­pled its wealth; less im­pe­ri­al as its em­pire widened; less dig­ni­fied as it tried to be civ­il. He liked it best when he hat­ed it. Ed­uca­tion be­gan at the end, or per­haps would end at the be­gin­ning. Thus far it had re­mained in the eigh­teenth cen­tu­ry, and the next step took it back to the six­teenth. He crossed to Antwerp. As the Baron Osy steamed up the Scheldt in the morn­ing mists, a trav­el­ling band on deck be­gan to play, and groups of peas­ants, work­ing along the fields, dropped their tools to join in danc­ing. Os­tade and Te­niers were as much alive as they ev­er were, and even the Duke of Al­va was still at home. The thir­teenth-​cen­tu­ry cathe­dral tow­ered above a six­teenth-​cen­tu­ry mass of tiled roofs, end­ing abrupt­ly in walls and a land­scape that had not changed. The taste of the town was thick, rich, ripe, like a sweet wine; it was me­di­ae­val, so that Rubens seemed mod­ern; it was one of the strongest and fullest fla­vors that ev­er touched the young man’s palate; but he might as well have drunk out his ex­cite­ment in old Malm­sey, for all the ed­uca­tion he got from it. Even in art, one can hard­ly be­gin with Antwerp Cathe­dral and the De­scent from the Cross. He mere­ly got drunk on his emo­tions, and had then to get sober as he best could. He was ter­ri­bly sober when he saw Antwerp half a cen­tu­ry af­ter­wards. One les­son he did learn with­out sus­pect­ing that he must im­me­di­ate­ly lose it. He felt his mid­dle ages and the six­teenth cen­tu­ry alive. He was young enough, and the towns were dirty enough — unim­proved, un­re­stored, un­tourist­ed — to re­tain the sense of re­al­ity. As a taste or a smell, it was ed­uca­tion, es­pe­cial­ly be­cause it last­ed bare­ly ten years longer; but it was ed­uca­tion on­ly sen­su­al. He nev­er dreamed of try­ing to ed­ucate him­self to the De­scent from the Cross. He was on­ly too hap­py to feel him­self kneel­ing at the foot of the Cross; he learned on­ly to loathe the sor­did ne­ces­si­ty of get­ting up again, and go­ing about his stupid busi­ness.

This was one of the fore­seen dan­gers of Eu­rope, but it van­ished rapid­ly enough to re­as­sure the most anx­ious of par­ents. Dropped in­to Berlin one morn­ing with­out guide or di­rec­tion, the young man in search of ed­uca­tion floun­dered in a mere mess of mis­un­der­stand­ings. He could nev­er re­call what he ex­pect­ed to find, but what­ev­er he ex­pect­ed, it had no re­la­tion with what it turned out to be. A stu­dent at twen­ty takes eas­ily to any­thing, even to Berlin, and he would have ac­cept­ed the thir­teenth cen­tu­ry pure and sim­ple since his guides as­sured him that this was his right path; but a week’s ex­pe­ri­ence left him dazed and dull. Faith held out, but the paths grew dim. Berlin as­ton­ished him, but he had no lack of friends to show him all the amuse­ment it had to of­fer. With­in a day or two he was run­ning about with the rest to beer-​cel­lars and mu­sic-​halls and dance-​rooms, smok­ing bad to­bac­co, drink­ing poor beer, and eat­ing sauerkraut and sausages as though he knew no bet­ter. This was easy. One can al­ways de­scend the so­cial lad­der. The trou­ble came when he asked for the ed­uca­tion he was promised. His friends took him to be reg­is­tered as a stu­dent of the uni­ver­si­ty; they se­lect­ed his pro­fes­sors and cours­es; they showed him where to buy the In­sti­tutes of Gaius and sev­er­al Ger­man works on the Civ­il Law in nu­mer­ous vol­umes; and they led him to his first lec­ture.

His first lec­ture was his last. The young man was not very quick, and he had al­most re­li­gious re­spect for his guides and ad­vis­ers; but he need­ed no more than one hour to sat­is­fy him that he had made an­oth­er fail­ure in ed­uca­tion, and this time a fa­tal one. That the lan­guage would re­quire at least three months’ hard work be­fore he could touch the Law was an an­noy­ing dis­cov­ery; but the shock that up­set him was the dis­cov­ery of the uni­ver­si­ty it­self. He had thought Har­vard Col­lege a tor­pid school, but it was in­stinct with life com­pared with all that he could see of the Uni­ver­si­ty of Berlin. The Ger­man stu­dents were strange an­imals, but their pro­fes­sors were be­yond pay. The men­tal at­ti­tude of the uni­ver­si­ty was not of an Amer­ican world. What sort of in­struc­tion pre­vailed in oth­er branch­es, or in sci­ence, Adams had no oc­ca­sion to ask, but in the Civ­il Law he found on­ly the lec­ture sys­tem in its dead­li­est form as it flour­ished in the thir­teenth cen­tu­ry. The pro­fes­sor mum­bled his com­ments; the stu­dents made, or seemed to make, notes; they could have learned from books or dis­cus­sion in a day more than they could learn from him in a month, but they must pay his fees, fol­low his course, and be his schol­ars, if they want­ed a de­gree. To an Amer­ican the re­sult was worth­less. He could make no use of the Civ­il Law with­out some pre­vi­ous no­tion of the Com­mon Law; but the stu­dent who knew enough of the Com­mon Law to un­der­stand what he want­ed, had on­ly to read the Pan­dects or the com­men­ta­tors at his ease in Amer­ica, and be his own pro­fes­sor. Nei­ther the method nor the mat­ter nor the man­ner could prof­it an Amer­ican ed­uca­tion.

This dis­cov­ery seemed to shock none of the stu­dents. They went to the lec­tures, made notes, and read text­books, but nev­er pre­tend­ed to take their pro­fes­sor se­ri­ous­ly. They were much more se­ri­ous in read­ing Heine. They knew no more than Heine what good they were get­ting, be­yond the Berlin ac­cent — which was bad; and the beer — which was not to com­pare with Mu­nich; and the danc­ing — which was bet­ter at Vi­en­na. They en­joyed the beer and mu­sic, but they re­fused to be re­spon­si­ble for the ed­uca­tion. Any­way, as they de­fend­ed them­selves, they were learn­ing the lan­guage.

So the young man fell back on the lan­guage, and be­ing slow at lan­guages, he found him­self falling be­hind all his friends, which de­pressed his spir­its, the more be­cause the gloom of a Berlin win­ter and of Berlin ar­chi­tec­ture seemed to him a par­tic­ular sort of gloom nev­er at­tained else­where. One day on the Lin­den he caught sight of Charles Sum­ner in a cab, and ran af­ter him. Sum­ner was then re­cov­er­ing from the blows of the South Car­olini­an cane or club, and he was pleased to find a young wor­ship­per in the re­mote Prus­sian wilder­ness. They dined to­geth­er and went to hear “William Tell” at the Opera. Sum­ner tried to en­cour­age his friend about his dif­fi­cul­ties of lan­guage: “I came to Berlin,” or Rome, or what­ev­er place it was, as he said with his grand air of mas­tery, “I came to Berlin, un­able to say a word in the lan­guage; and three months lat­er when I went away, I talked it to my cab­man.” Adams felt him­self quite un­able to at­tain in so short a time such so­cial ad­van­tages, and one day com­plained of his tri­als to Mr. Robert Apthorp, of Boston, who was pass­ing the win­ter in Berlin for the sake of its mu­sic. Mr. Apthorp told of his own sim­ilar strug­gle, and how he had en­tered a pub­lic school and sat for months with ten-​year-​old-​boys, recit­ing their lessons and catch­ing their phras­es. The idea suit­ed Adams’s des­per­ate frame of mind. At least it rid­ded him of the uni­ver­si­ty and the Civ­il Law and Amer­ican as­so­ci­ations in beer-​cel­lars. Mr. Apthorp took the trou­ble to ne­go­ti­ate with the head-​mas­ter of the Friedrichs-​Wil­helm-​Werder­sches Gym­na­si­um for per­mis­sion to Hen­ry Adams to at­tend the school as a mem­ber of the Ober-​ter­tia, a class of boys twelve or thir­teen years old, and there Adams went for three months as though he had not al­ways avoid­ed high schools with sin­gu­lar an­tipa­thy. He nev­er did any­thing else so fool­ish but he was giv­en a bit of ed­uca­tion which served him some pur­pose in life.

It was not mere­ly the lan­guage, though three months passed in such fash­ion would teach a poo­dle enough to talk with a cab­man, and this was all that for­eign stu­dents could ex­pect to do, for they nev­er by any chance would come in con­tact with Ger­man so­ci­ety, if Ger­man so­ci­ety ex­ist­ed, about which they knew noth­ing. Adams nev­er learned to talk Ger­man well, but the same might be said of his En­glish, if he could be­lieve En­glish­men. He learned not to an­noy him­self on this ac­count. His dif­fi­cul­ties with the lan­guage grad­ual­ly ceased. He thought him­self quite Ger­man­ized in 1859. He even de­lud­ed him­self with the idea that he read it as though it were En­glish, which proved that he knew lit­tle about it; but what­ev­er suc­cess he had in his own ex­per­iment in­ter­est­ed him less than his con­tact with Ger­man ed­uca­tion.

He had re­volt­ed at the Amer­ican school and uni­ver­si­ty; he had in­stant­ly re­ject­ed the Ger­man uni­ver­si­ty; and as his last ex­pe­ri­ence of ed­uca­tion he tried the Ger­man high school. The ex­per­iment was haz­ardous. In 1858 Berlin was a poor, keen-​wit­ted, provin­cial town, sim­ple, dirty, un­civ­ilized, and in most re­spects dis­gust­ing. Life was prim­itive be­yond what an Amer­ican boy could have imag­ined. Over­rid­den by mil­itary meth­ods and bu­reau­crat­ic pet­ti­ness, Prus­sia was on­ly be­gin­ning to free her hands from in­ter­nal bonds. Apart from dis­ci­pline, ac­tiv­ity scarce­ly ex­ist­ed. The fu­ture Kaiser Wil­helm I, re­gent for his in­sane broth­er King Friedrich Wil­helm IV, seemed to pass his time look­ing at the passers-​by from the win­dow of his mod­est palace on the Lin­den. Ger­man man­ners, even at Court, were some­times bru­tal, and Ger­man thor­ough­ness at school was apt to be rou­tine. Bis­mar­ck him­self was then strug­gling to be­gin a ca­reer against the in­er­tia of the Ger­man sys­tem. The con­di­tion of Ger­many was a scan­dal and nui­sance to ev­ery earnest Ger­man, all whose en­er­gies were turned to re­form­ing it from top to bot­tom; and Adams walked in­to a great pub­lic school to get ed­ucat­ed, at pre­cise­ly the time when the Ger­mans want­ed most to get rid of the ed­uca­tion they were forced to fol­low. As an episode in the search for ed­uca­tion, this ad­ven­ture smacked of Heine.

The school sys­tem has doubt­less changed, and at all events the school­mas­ters are prob­ably long ago dead; the sto­ry has no longer a prac­ti­cal val­ue, and had very lit­tle even at the time; one could at least say in de­fence of the Ger­man school that it was nei­ther very bru­tal nor very im­moral. The head-​mas­ter was ex­cel­lent in his Prus­sian way, and the oth­er in­struc­tors were not worse than in oth­er schools; it was their sys­tem that struck the sys­tem­less Amer­ican with hor­ror. The ar­bi­trary train­ing giv­en to the mem­ory was stu­pe­fy­ing; the strain that the mem­ory en­dured was a form of tor­ture; and the feats that the boys per­formed, with­out com­plaint, were pitiable. No oth­er fac­ul­ty than the mem­ory seemed to be rec­og­nized. Least of all was any use made of rea­son, ei­ther an­alyt­ic, syn­thet­ic, or dog­mat­ic. The Ger­man gov­ern­ment did not en­cour­age rea­son­ing.

All State ed­uca­tion is a sort of dy­namo ma­chine for po­lar­iz­ing the pop­ular mind; for turn­ing and hold­ing its lines of force in the di­rec­tion sup­posed to be most ef­fec­tive for State pur­pos­es. The Ger­man ma­chine was ter­ri­bly ef­fi­cient. Its ef­fect on the chil­dren was pa­thet­ic. The Friedrichs-​Wil­helm-​Werder­sches Gym­na­si­um was an old build­ing in the heart of Berlin which served the ed­uca­tion­al needs of the small trades­men or bour­geoisie of the neigh­bor­hood; the chil­dren were Berlin­er-​kinder if ev­er there were such, and of a class sus­pect­ed of sym­pa­thy and con­cern in the trou­bles of 1848. None was no­ble or con­nect­ed with good so­ci­ety. Per­son­al­ly they were rather sym­pa­thet­ic than not, but as the ob­jects of ed­uca­tion they were proofs of near­ly all the evils that a bad sys­tem could give. Ap­par­ent­ly Adams, in his rigid­ly il­log­ical pur­suit, had at last reached his ide­al of a vi­cious­ly log­ical ed­uca­tion. The boys’ physique showed it first, but their physique could not be whol­ly charged to the school. Ger­man food was bad at best, and a di­et of sauerkraut, sausage, and beer could nev­er be good; but it was not the food alone that made their faces white and their flesh flab­by. They nev­er breathed fresh air; they had nev­er heard of a play­ground; in all Berlin not a cu­bic inch of oxy­gen was ad­mit­ted in win­ter in­to an in­hab­it­ed build­ing; in the school ev­ery room was tight­ly closed and had no ven­ti­la­tion; the air was foul be­yond all de­cen­cy; but when the Amer­ican opened a win­dow in the five min­utes be­tween hours, he vi­olat­ed the rules and was in­vari­ably re­buked. As long as cold weath­er last­ed, the win­dows were shut. If the boys had a hol­iday, they were apt to be tak­en on long tramps in the Thier­garten or else­where, al­ways end­ing in over-​fa­tigue, to­bac­co-​smoke, sausages, and beer. With this, they were re­quired to pre­pare dai­ly lessons that would have quick­ly bro­ken down strong men of a healthy habit, and which they could learn on­ly be­cause their minds were mor­bid. The Ger­man uni­ver­si­ty had seemed a fail­ure, but the Ger­man high school was some­thing very near an in­dictable nui­sance.

Be­fore the month of April ar­rived, the ex­per­iment of Ger­man ed­uca­tion had reached this point. Noth­ing was left of it ex­cept the ghost of the Civ­il Law shut up in the dark­est of clos­ets, nev­er to gib­ber again be­fore any one who could re­peat the sto­ry. The de­ri­sive Jew laugh­ter of Heine ran through the uni­ver­si­ty and ev­ery­thing else in Berlin. Of course, when one is twen­ty years old, life is bound to be full, if on­ly of Berlin beer, al­though Ger­man stu­dent life was on the whole the thinnest of beer, as an Amer­ican looked on it, but though noth­ing ex­cept small frag­ments re­mained of the ed­uca­tion that had been so promis­ing — or promised — this is on­ly what most of­ten hap­pens in life, when by-​prod­ucts turn out to be more valu­able than sta­ples. The Ger­man uni­ver­si­ty and Ger­man law were fail­ures; Ger­man so­ci­ety, in an Amer­ican sense, did not ex­ist, or if it ex­ist­ed, nev­er showed it­self to an Amer­ican; the Ger­man the­atre, on the oth­er hand, was ex­cel­lent, and Ger­man opera, with the bal­let, was al­most worth a jour­ney to Berlin; but the cu­ri­ous and per­plex­ing re­sult of the to­tal fail­ure of Ger­man ed­uca­tion was that the stu­dent’s on­ly clear gain — his sin­gle step to a high­er life — came from time wast­ed; stud­ies ne­glect­ed; vices in­dulged; ed­uca­tion re­versed; — it came from the de­spised beer-​gar­den and mu­sic-​hall; and it was ac­ci­den­tal, un­in­tend­ed, un­fore­seen.

When his com­pan­ions in­sist­ed on pass­ing two or three af­ter­noons in the week at mu­sic-​halls, drink­ing beer, smok­ing Ger­man to­bac­co, and look­ing at fat Ger­man wom­en knit­ting, while an or­ches­tra played dull mu­sic, Adams went with them for the sake of the com­pa­ny, but with no pres­ence of en­joy­ment; and when Mr. Apthorp gen­tly protest­ed that he ex­ag­ger­at­ed his in­dif­fer­ence, for of course he en­joyed Beethoven, Adams replied sim­ply that he loathed Beethoven; and felt a slight sur­prise when Mr. Apthorp and the oth­ers laughed as though they thought it hu­mor. He saw no hu­mor in it. He sup­posed that, ex­cept mu­si­cians, ev­ery one thought Beethoven a bore, as ev­ery one ex­cept math­emati­cians thought math­emat­ics a bore. Sit­ting thus at his beer-​ta­ble, men­tal­ly im­pas­sive, he was one day sur­prised to no­tice that his mind fol­lowed the move­ment of a Sin­fonie. He could not have been more as­ton­ished had he sud­den­ly read a new lan­guage. Among the mar­vels of ed­uca­tion, this was the most mar­vel­lous. A prison-​wall that barred his sens­es on one great side of life, sud­den­ly fell, of its own ac­cord, with­out so much as his know­ing when it hap­pened. Amid the fumes of coarse to­bac­co and poor beer, sur­round­ed by the com­mon­est of Ger­man Haus-​frauen, a new sense burst out like a flow­er in his life, so su­pe­ri­or to the old sens­es, so be­wil­der­ing, so as­ton­ished at its own ex­is­tence, that he could not cred­it it, and watched it as some­thing apart, ac­ci­den­tal, and not to be trust­ed. He slow­ly came to ad­mit that Beethoven had part­ly be­come in­tel­li­gi­ble to him, but he was the more in­clined to think that Beethoven must be much over­rat­ed as a mu­si­cian, to be so eas­ily fol­lowed. This could not be called ed­uca­tion, for he had nev­er so much as lis­tened to the mu­sic. He had been think­ing of oth­er things. Mere me­chan­ical rep­eti­tion of cer­tain sounds had stuck to his un­con­scious mind. Beethoven might have this pow­er, but not Wag­ner, or at all events not the Wag­ner lat­er than “Tannhaus­er.” Near forty years passed be­fore he reached the “Got­ter­dammerung.”

One might talk of the re­vival of an at­ro­phied sense — the me­chan­ical re­ac­tion of a sleep­ing con­scious­ness — but no oth­er sense awoke. His sense of line and col­or re­mained as dull as ev­er, and as far as ev­er be­low the lev­el of an artist. His meta­phys­ical sense did not spring in­to life, so that his mind could leap the bars of Ger­man ex­pres­sion in­to sym­pa­thy with the ide­al­ities of Kant and Hegel. Al­though he in­sist­ed that his faith in Ger­man thought and lit­er­ature was ex­alt­ed, he failed to ap­proach Ger­man thought, and he shed nev­er a tear of emo­tion over the pages of Goethe and Schiller. When his fa­ther rash­ly ven­tured from time to time to write him a word of com­mon sense, the young man would lis­ten to no sense at all, but in­sist­ed that Berlin was the best of ed­uca­tions in the best of Ger­ma­nies; yet, when, at last, April came, and some ge­nius sug­gest­ed a tramp in Thurin­gen, his heart sang like a bird; he re­al­ized what a night­mare he had suf­fered, and he made up his mind that, wher­ev­er else he might, in the in­fini­ties of space and time, seek for ed­uca­tion, it should not be again in Berlin.